During this past month I have learnt a sad yet valuable lesson.
I was contacted by a dear friend. A friend who I hadn’t seen for about four years. We met each other in Saudi Arabia which was the place I called home for eight years. My friend was larger than life itself. She was a like a mother hen to all the girls living on the British run compound which was situated on the outskirts of a small country town in the north of the Middle Eastern country. Living in Saudi Arabia was a fabulous experience. Life changing. One of the most wonderful things about the place was the friendships that I made. They were, are, lasting ones. So it was no surprise when one day, out of the blue, my friend called me. We had previously kept in touch via instagram but my friend said that she felt a strong need to call me after reading one of my blog posts. She was never one to ignore a gut feeling so she picked up the phone and called. We chatted only ever so briefly because of the craziness that was going on around me here at 209. Three of my four had come home from a weekend away with head lice and one needed ‘assistance’ in the bathroom. I told her I’d call her back later that night. I didn’t. The next day I text her to say that I’d be free for a good ol’ chat at 2pm when I was sitting the car waiting to pick up the kids from school. And we did. We talked and talked for a good hour and made a FaceTime date for the following week. Tuesday at 10am.
That FaceTime date went for a bit over two hours. We laughed, cried, filled each other in on what we had been up to since we last saw each other. She shared with me her strong beliefs of the power of attraction and how important it was to have and show gratitude for this glorious thing called life. She hadn’t changed a bit. Still that enormous positive force of energy that engulfs you and makes you feel just so darn good.
An hour after our chat on that Tuesday she text to say how wonderful she felt, how thrilled she was that we had reconnected. At 5:58pm I sent my friend this text… “You are amazing. Thank you for spending that time with me. I sat in the car this afternoon at school pick up in the sun and just thought about all the things you had said, the advice you gave and the relief that I felt simply by talking. I feel so positive tonight as I cook my little tribe their tea. Thank you for your love, for your light and for your friendship.”
I never received a reply from my friend. She had died.
The next day, Wednesday, a little after 2pm, as I was sitting in my car in the school car park. My phone rang and picking it up I saw her name. Naturally I answered excitedly “Hello honey!”. It wasn’t my friend. It was her husband, calling to tell me the devastating news. He said that he heard a text come through and looked over to where his wife was sleeping. Phone under her hand as it always was when she dozed in her favourite leather chair. He thought nothing of that moment. But when the phone chimed again and she didn’t respond he went over to check. He said she looked so peaceful.
Her sudden death is surreal to me, even now, weeks later. It’s something that I can’t process, can’t make sense of. I had only just ‘seen’ her the day before. Heard her loud laugh, was comforted by her wise words. Pumped up and inspired by her strong willingness to love and embrace everything about life. We had only just reconnected. Why had she entered my life again only to have been taken so suddenly? Why hadn’t I made contact with her earlier? Why did we wait a whole week before our FaceTime date? There must be a reason.
For now I’m choosing to learn from this sad loss. I’m going to do better. And each morning, before I get out of bed, kiss my babes good morning or check my phone I lie there, quietly and show gratitude for all the things that I have in my life.
To you my friend reading this: Don’t wait – to tell that person how you feel – your babies, your family, your friends. If you want to pick up your phone and call someone do it. Don’t wait. Make contact. Reconnect. Say hello. Make every moment and every single person in your life count. Live with intention and purpose. Fill up your life with good people. People who lift you up. People who you can rely on. People who feed your soul and who make you happy. People who are kind, caring, honest, considerate and loving. And people who appreciate what you have to offer and who love you for you. For the ones that don’t do these things make sure they are ok then gently, and with kindness, let those people go – even if it breaks your heart. For the ones that do, love them. Love them all…fiercely.
Don’t wait. XO